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I guess like many people, in particular gay men… the young ones at least, I tend to be ‘bitchy’ to ‘hide’ or otherwise protect myself and my feelings.

Today was horrible… being awoke far too early only to have nothing happen… so I went back to bed and blew off the whole xmess dinner ordeal… since we have 8 inches of snow and I don’t really feel comfortable going to dinner at a group of people’s house I don’t even know…

I woke up again about 5pm and ate some left over papa john’s pizza. ..yes, leftover pizza was my xmess dinner.

Then I made myself a double long island… thanks to my rather full bar that was easy…

I’ve been talking with DaVe most of the night… I really want to be with him… it doesn’t really matter where. I guess…err.. I dunno.. this will just all be rambling I guess. I suppose he’s just someone that I’ll continue to love and care for no matter how many times he annoys me to insanity, heh… I want to be able to help him, but I know I can’t, so I’m his friend, and he’s mine… and we’ll try to get through this life together as best as we can. There is only so much I can do, but he (and Adam) are pretty much the only people that I would simply stop whatever I had been doing to help.. if it means getting on a plane or driving several hours, whatever… I’ve done that for Adam once.. and DaVe has done it for me… So much of this is really beyond words, but I try to express it.

“when the visions around you bring tears to your eyes, and all thats around you are secrets and lies i’ll be your strength i’ll give you hope keeping your faith when its gone, the one you should call has been standing here all alone and i will take you in my arms and hold right where you belong till the day is through this i promise you this i promise you” (DaVe quoted that to me earlier). (020120031754 – fucking ‘nsync? I’m going to beat the bastard into peanut butter).

oh yeah, uhm… I guess I should do the whole obligatory ‘this is what I got’ thing… I got a wacom graphire2 drawing tablet for my ibook from my mom… (I went with her the other day to get it) and my brother and louise bought me the simpson’s monopoly game, and louise bought me a pair of boxers with margarita glasses on them… :) …pftt, and I don’t even do the xmess horror.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 25th, 2002 at 8:02 PM and is filed under Sidenotes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.