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My brother david is finally out of the hospital, he’s doing alright… he’s lucky, his surgeon is also a plastic surgury specialist so his scar will be all nice and tiny; versus this hideous chainsaw gash that my horrible doctor did.

I’m still playing the sims a bit here and there amidst various work related duties… thankfully it seems that the new server finally solved the hardware problems causing the lockups and general craptastic server behaviour… I bought two expansion packs for the sims… hot date and house party… I made this nightclub in ‘downtown’ but I think I put in too many blinking lights or something because after a short time the whole game sort of freezes up… very sucky. I created this new guy and a new little house, but his carpool never arrives so he gets fired from every job without ever going to it…. The carpool people must not be able to find the house, hahah…

Ergh… I’m still not in a very good mood…. but there’s not a damn thing I can do about it… because I’m loney and the person I want to spend time with is not only far away, but he still won’t talk to me… that’s my assumption, since he hasn’t spoken to me in months now I guess… I really miss him… ….I’m unhappy in an extreme way, I don’t want to talk to anyone, including DaVe…

Why is it that all of the world’s internet related problems can be blamed on Microsoft software and the fact that the point & click admins that “maintain” those windows servers never fucking bother to patch the gaping holes in almost every microsoft product they use? It started way before midnight lastnight, I’d say a good 24 hours, because the internet and dns from comcast have been much more flakey than usual over the past two days… Read more here.

I was under the impression when my mom and David left yesterday afternoon that they were going in for outpatient services… wrong. I left for errands around 2pm or so yesterday, bank, etc… called matt to see how things were going and they were still in the waiting room! …so I stopped by, turns out that they ended up admiting him hours upon hours later, did a CT scan around 8:30, finally around, oh, 11pm or so they decided to do the surgery… I still hadn’t been home since I left originally. I haven’t been in yet today, but as of early this morning he was doing alright, poor guy hadn’t ever been in the hospital before, lol… he was quite funny when waking up from the anestesia.

My brother david is at the hospital with an appendicitis. I’m shocked that they didn’t make him wait several days while it kept getting worse to the point where it ruptured (you know, like they did with me, the fuckers), so hopefully he’ll have a nice little scar versus this horrendous monster of a scar like I have.

The data center supposedly put the server’s harddrives into a new one lastnight… all I can say is that this better solve the stability problems. My server provider is also going to be crediting me back the last payment as compensation for the wasted time and frustration. Unfortunately it only serves to offset the longterm loss of income by a small portion… The company needs new clients, good new clients, and quite a few of them… since instead of growing the company is shrinking… Deadbeat clients continue to plague me, clients that don’t understand that emails are meant to be replied to continue to infuriate me, I want to kick clients in the head who want help moving their accounts away from PFWS… all the while past due!

I’m still horribly stressed out, to make matters worse, ergh, DaVe really offended/annoyed me lastnight… I’m just sort of living in my little fantasy world of The Sims, where I’m a senator and he’s a doctor, hah, and we have this 4,000 SQ FT house, haha.

Don’t just stand there, do something.

I think I’ve had enough of reality right now, though I haven’t had a drink in quite a while… I guess I know that it is nothing near a solution to how I feel so I don’t do it. I’m lonely now and I don’t know how to get it back to good.

It all seems to stupid, even on a cosmic level. I don’t know him anymore, but I still care anyway, and I guess that coupld apply in many more than one instance. In the battles between heart and mind the heart always wins for me, or against me, depending on how you’d like to view it.

I worry for those I care about when they feel desperate, regardless of if they realize, because those acts of desperation are never truly satisfying and often quite harmful. Knowing this is why I don’t follow up on what I consider my act of desperation… temporary happiness isn’t worth the bullshit that comes after it or before it even.