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Yesterday morning, albeit technically yesterday afternoon, while we were having breakfast I had this flash of Love Actually. It was the scene where Aurelia and Jamie are saying goodbye for the day prior to him driving her home. The saddest part of the day for her is when she has to leave him, and for him that same time of the day is his most happy, because he drives her home, because they have that private time together.

We will not let go of each other, when we hug. After all of this time there are still those awkward fumbling moments, part of the process, I suppose, the evolution of our relationship. It is the saddest part of my day, when we part, tempered by knowing that we’ll see each other again, beit the next day or the next week.

I don’t know how to write about something I do not understand; in this case, something neither of us understands. I’m not bothered by it in the slightest and while we don’t know really quite what it is, we do have something, defying explanation or classification, wonderful and worthy of being cherished regardless.

If I may be so bold, I would say that perhaps we have mastered silent communication. So many things are said between us by simply a glance and with nothing more we’re able to convey to each other even the most complex of ideas.

Sometimes I think even that isn’t quite enough. There needs to be, every now and then, something definitive, even if that declaration is only to prove the vague nature of things. A moment where I embraced him, while were drifting to sleep; “Is this appropriate?” and he replies, with great warmth and settling all fears, “Yes, and very nice.”

Another moment, similarly, and I say “There are times where I want to kiss you… and I just don’t know if I should.” While, quites honesty, I don’t remember how he phrased it, but also, in that same sort of warm and reassuring way he let me know that it’d be fine; more than fine really, but on some levels isn’t that a given?

I’m not sure if it’s luck, because really, everyone at this point should know that it’s beyond that, but I still find myself wanting to rejoice in how lucky I am. These are moments where I could so easily receive the sort of response that… would be, shall we say, less than desirable. In these moments though, the responses, as I’ve said, have been warm and reassuring. Granted, a few weeks ago, he did answer the most rhetorical of questions I could have posed; before I could even state that I didn’t want an answer, our world changed.

I chose to stay. I choose to wait. Waiting when told directly not to, to save my feelings, to save his… I’m just not willing to give up on something that continually brings me happiness that, without agenda, rivals anything I’ve felt before.

This entry has been timestamp edited.

I received an email from someone I have deliberately not spoken with since July. I didn’t know, precisely, when I’d get such an email, but part of me knew it would eventually arrive in one form or another.

I asked myself if I had any compelling reason to respond. My rather resounding answer was that I did not. The only, and somewhat less than compelling, reason would be to avoid being rude. Then, would that breach of social etiquette even come close to the way he had treated me? I’m still quite in the clear.

Let it be known I did actually deliberate on the subject of response.

My final decision was that no response was warranted, until such time the author put forth a modicum of effort by using proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling. That is to say, illustrated some level of respect; expecting a response to that dreck is most ridiculous.

Lastnight we had our “Boys’ Christmas” event here in “London” otherwise known as The Lounge. Here are a few photos, as I’ve realized not many have been posted that would give a ‘whole’ image of what the room looks like. Of course, it is decked out fully right now, hehe.

This sort of thing drives me a little nuts. I remember seeing a box of brown sugar the other day, prior to the holiday. I can’t imagine that the entire box was consumed for the preparation of the sweet potatoes, but I suppose it is possible.

I went shopping for “Boys’ Christmas” lastnight. I realized I had considerably less dijon mustard than I needed and thus went out again tonight to get that and a couple of other random things. This means I’ll need to go out yet again and get brown sugar because it has vanished. Oh, bugger.

I finally got around to watching Super Size Me the other night. If you’re not familiar with the documentary it’s basically the story of a guy who decides to eat only McDonald’s food for the course of a month, and how by doing so he absolutely devestates his health. It’s really a no-brainer, but it is still shocking just how bad for you it really is.

I think the last time I ate anything from McDonald’s was back in the summer, breakfast with Jon. I can’t remember the last time I ate at Burger King or Taco Bell. I suppose I ate Wendy’s food maybe two months ago, but I did have Hardee’s sourdough burgers two nights in a row a couple of weeks ago, heh.

Oddly enough, the main drawback to fast food is the inconvenience of it. I do not carry cash, period, thus it just doesn’t work for me. Hardee’s accepts credit & debit cards, hence my having eaten there. I don’t even want to know how horrid what I eat when I stop there is, healthwise.

My vice, if you want to call it that, when it comes to fast food… of course it’s not fast food, it’s “good food fast” ;) …is Sheetz. The good thing, in a way, is that nutritional information is readily and clearly available on the website, the bad news is just the same, lol.

When they introduced “Burgerz” I had to look up how horrid for the body they were; mainly because they tasted so incredibly good. One of those delicious hunks of cooked animal flesh will clobber up 80% of your recommended saturated fat intake for the day… yikes. It’s a burger though, it is to be expected on some level.

What freaked me out is when I just now looked at the information for the little breakfast sandwiches that I love. I usually get two of them, and usually on the biscuit, versus the english muffin. With sausage and hot pepper cheese, that will takes me to 114% of the recommended daily intake of cholesterol and 90% of the recommended daily intake for saturated fat. Yikes, double time. Even worse, in some ways, is that the sodium content when eating two is 86%. That’s not counting the addition of ketchup, tomatoes, onions, or peppers.

The good news is that I rarely eat them, but will I continue to eat them? Absolutely. I do think I’ll just get one of them from now on though, heh, I won’t feel so bad about it, in theory, heh. If one were to eliminate the cheese, the figures are substantially better, doing away with the sausage and getting something else improves the figures even more. It’s really interesting, to me… probably boring to everybody else. You do not want to look at the information for a hotdog though, oh my god.

I rarely eat three meals a day, usually I’ll eat once… that’s just the way I work and I’m not hungry for the rest of the day. That makes these food choices not nearly as bad, but if one were to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, it’d be awful.

Matthew’s gift arrived safely and is now wrapped, waiting in the lounge. I mentioned previously that I was a little concerned about it being as nice as I’d hoped; well, that worry was quickly destroyed. :-D I am a little curious as to the actual arrival of the box though; the UPS man was nowhere to be found, and I saw someone walk into the trees on the side of the driveway. I’m thinking it was delivered it to the neighbors, highly weird, since their address isn’t even technically on the street. In either case, it made it here, I’m happy about it, and with it.

The second little trauma was finding Bormioli Rocco coffee cups for my brother Matt. I thought, originally, that this would be a very simple task. Crate & Barrel had been selling sets of six for quite a while, thus I was confident they’d still have them. I was wrong.

I’d bought mine at Marshalls and Ross, so I stopped at the Marshalls, no luck. Finally lastnight I made a ‘quick’ trip to Carlisle to hit the Ross & TJ Maxx there. Huzzah! Ross had them! I’d much rather have bought him the ‘all-purpose’ ones, versus the ‘cappuccino’ ones, but either way I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.

The reason I’d rather have been able to find the ‘all-purpose’ ones is that they hold exactly the right amount for my Folger’s Home Cafe coffee contraption. He doesn’t have one of those, so it’s really a non-issue, but… whatever. I have all three sizes, the third being for espresso, I love ‘em.