Prom & London
Lastnight Sam mentioned his prom and wanting to take a guy and his options, etc… and just sort of randomly I was like “ooooh! take me!” not exactly serious, but not exactly jokingly either. I never went to the prom with a guy, only took this girl that I wasn’t even dating to my jr Prom, just because… I never bothered with the senior prom, mostly because the jr prom experience was so dumb, it was this heterosexual right of passage that just didn’t seem to fit with me in any way. The idea of going to Sam’s prom was somehow appealing in more than just the totally crazy sort of way, and, really, getting to St. Louis for the weekend isn’t difficult, , so it was kind of like, well… if he doesn’t find a proper guy to go with, I’d go with him, why not? It’d be wild… and, well, a lot of other more delicately lovely things.
So, the other thing that has me actually a little concerned, is well… I’m talking to Jon lastnight, because I really wanted to hang out tonight and he blurts out rather matter of factly that he’s going to be looking for places tonight because he’s moving to London. Now, we’d briefly talked about that when he was here and had one of those ‘aww’ moments where we ‘decided’ to move to London together.
I looked into ‘defecting’ quite a few times and, realistically, it’s a hell of a lot harder to leave the country than one may imagine. There are very few countries that will accept US Citizens moving there, period or without all sorts of documentation and being sponsored. There are even fewer countries that will acknowlege dual-citizenship, with most requiring one to choose upon turning 18 if a US Citizen happened to be born abroad.
In my rampant way of immediately planning out a future, upon spending time with him I thought he’d be fabulous to move away with… to Pittsburgh, because there would be so many opportunities available to him as a graphic designer there for one thing, and, well… I don’t know, the whole idea is somewhat ludicrous, but when we were talking about moving lastnight, when I said ‘someone fabulous to live with’ he was the person foremost on my mind. I can totally relate to the idea of being unhappy, bored, and wanting to get away, of course I now know that moving away doesn’t really solve anything that might be wrong… it changes the situation for certain, but one needs to find their own happiness, moving doesn’t guarantee it by any means.
I suppose one could surmise that I am concerned for him, which could seem a bit out of place too, but every now and then I meet someone, though quite rarely, that just manages to wedge themselves into my thoughts and heart in such a way that I start to care rather immediately. Then, I am rather deliberate in the Thoreau sense about who I actually talk with or meet too, if I don’t see something very much worthwhile I don’t generally bother at all. There just seems, and I’ve felt this from moment one, that something isn’t quite right, there’s something going on under the surface, with some of the things he’s asked me bolstering that idea; just reinforces the fact that I feel we just need to treat people better.
Oh well, it looks like I’m going to be spending tonight here by myself, heh, not that it’s a catastrophy, but I was looking forward to seeing him and I guess his reasoning for being busy doesn’t exactly sit too well with me, it makes me antsy; I’d venture to say in rather a similar way as my mentioning moving back to Pittsburgh would prompt Patrick to be a bit antsy about it too.
