indiboi.com

to borrow a line from bjork, i miss you and i haven’t met you yet. i find myself being drawn to someone very strongly, and know that in all reality it may never be… but that damn pesky hope thing always seems to popup. i suppose that’s a good thing, but i can’t let it override the reality. on a pleasing note: i am going to be able to see a dear friend of mine soon, i haven’t seen him in the longest time, i’m greatly looking forward to enchanging these cyber hugs in for real ones.

Hmm… I feel a lot of relief… still not sure if I feel good, it’s a bit confusing. I need to hold on firmly to everyone, especially those who are not holding onto me firmly.

relationships are such weird things… when it comes to forgiveness… or accepting an appology. that’s not an easy thing to do, and i rarely do accept them. it’s all about being able to look past what may have happened and move on, because nothing can be done about what had happened, there is no sense to dwell on it; though whatever aftermath that there is certainly needs to be dealt with. i’m dealing with my aftermath as quickly as i feel able to do so. i don’t want to live with regret, so i try to do everything as deliberately as possible, with a purpose, and one i can justify. when i miss someone, i want to talk to them, and i’ve missed someone.

Today was a highrock day, this cliff about twenty miles away. It was a beautifully cool autumn day, slightly windy, and very cloudy, with pale sun breaking through periodically. As I stood outside at work, staring into the sky, i so wanted to be atop that mountain.

Wow, this insomnia is killer.