indiboi.com

ok… there is so much relief it’s immeasurable… i was able to finally talk to my friend. though i’m still worried about him, i at least know he’s okay now… from him telling me, basically.

i met with my therapist for the first time today. that was interesting. i’m still in need of my meds, so hopefully i can get somethign worked out, the soonest i can see an actual doctor there will be in like 17 days… so i need to do something sooner than that.

i’m going to start providing web hosting services, i’m thinking artlikehosting.com, but i’m not sure yet exactly.

i’ve been STARING at my resume forever… i need to update it… to submit for a web developer position
with what’s happened with my friend, i need to get my shit together.
i’m like a support system for him… and the more he needs me, the more i need to be able to be there. and right now i’m not in a position to do anything… and it’s been driving me nuts. it’s like… guilt for fucking up, and not fixing my problems before now. …and now is when i need ot be together the most.

i can’t stand feeling so fucking helpless!
someone i love is in the hospital somewhere and i have no fucking way to find out how he is

i’m jittery…
my friend is in the hospital… i’m not sure why, though i have an idea…… i’ve been worried … so worried.. and now i know why i’ve not been able to get in touch with him… i need to know if he’ll be alright.. my friend says there isn’t any reason to get myself all worked up until i know what’s happened… but it’s a lil too late… my eyes are burning from tears.. and i feel so goddamned helpless.

well… i seem to have sorted out somethings… and i feel a lil better… still there is a lil blurry bit here and there… but i think more clarity will come in time.