i’ve decided i’ve sort of been a prick… and realized some of those i’d blocked i really miss… so the block is over.
i’ve also decided… that i need to ask those questions i don’t want to ask… …to risk getting the answers i don’t want… because i simply need to know.. i can’t live in this confusion.
so… i need to figure out if i feel worse when i’m not talking with someone… or when i am talking with them and they’re telling me about them being with someone else.
i’ve come to grips with the fact that i’m still very much in love with someone… i thought i’d fallen out of love with him, then back… but i suppose those feelings have always been there, i’ve just been distracted i guess by other people.
so, pathetic me, is very very bored and alone at home at 1:08AM… not with whom i want to be with… but there isn’t anything i can do about that right now i suppose. … i just need to find something to occupy my time.