indiboi.com

poignently important excerpts:

i never seem to be good enough for anyone to really want to be with me, i am always diverted over to “good friend” and as soon as someone starts getting more involved with a boyfriend i seem to get pushed further and further away… to the point i have to do something to prevent it from happening, it just hurts too much. so i’m on the offensive instead of the defensive this time. i feel totally fucking stupid, as though i’m the blindest boy on earth. it sucks so much to realize that… to know that every single time i like someone they aren’t interested at all with the same intensity… and it’s me… it’s not them… because it just couldn’t always happen that way if it weren’t me… and i just don’t know what to do about it. even if there isn’t any romantic nature i just miss having someone there next to me while i sleep… someone i can be close with, and for so many reasons it seems that anytime i get close to that it’s going to leave me for some reason, and i don’t want to be the person dumped for once. it is the same concept of a child staying away from the stove once he’s been burned… so i see myself about to be burned and i’m running like hell.