indiboi.com

argh blah. …i am sitting here trying to figure out how some brattish kid could hurt my feelings as badly as he has… i dunno, it’s like a combo of things… made me feel inferior, like i’m worthless. .. kind of reaffirming that the only reason people do anythign is to get something in return… and that i’ve been nice and not asked for anything, so i’m not getting anything…. …but if i were to offer him something, then it’d be all different…. i dunno, it’s bullshit, and it’s upset me.. damnit.

…still working on new deckspin graphics… so far, uhm, i guess it’s okay.

i so love davey. heh, i love his plan… to get me down there to texas.. and he knows that i’d jump on that oppurtunity in a heartbeat. he’s got to be the most adorable, sweet, and sexy boy i’ve ever come across. *cuddles with davey*

heh, as suspected this site looks relatively shitty in netscape 4.77, for lack of CSS support… and of course the sweet dhtml/javascript window is all ordinary… …but i guess it works. …haven’t looked in ns six yet… which took until the FOURTH try to even fucking download and install, can we say ridiculous? …shitty install for a shitty browser i guess. …i also obtained opera 5.11… i have no fucking clue why ANYONE would use that over IE… even over NS… it’s like fucking AOL browser for god’s sake… ….it’s AWFUL!!… .. oh well… shitty browsers for stupid and or stubborn people. …sorry folks.. despite world domination, ie, capitalism, microsoft’s browsers are the absolute best… so far above netscape that is is laughable…. these atlernative browsers need to just give up… concede victory to microsoft… unless by some stoke of fate they somehow can improve, but the reality is so far from what people think… i cannot imagine why people use netscape, other than the fact they don’t want to submit to using microsoft software… which is just so very very sad… it’s stubborn… “i won’t use the best software because of who made it” whatever people. give it up… netscape SUCKS… netscape can’t even fucking render a table properly… you tell it in W3C compliant HTML how to colour the table borders and Netscape, even at version six, can’t fucking figure that out. …some of us, believe it or not, DO NOT WANT BORDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…i’d like to know… just why i am so blah. …i guess it’s what happens when you’re stuck in a shitty town and there are like two people in total to spend time with. in carlise sunday night we were watching queer as folk.. now, that would be the first episode i’d ever seen sober.. …funny though i did have a long island in my hand while watching it… hah. anyway…. so i’ve seen the 1,2,and 3 episodes… and so i saw this season finale… where they played back scenes from episode one… the cliffhanger ending is so absolutely terrible.. i mean, i never suffered queer panic from not watching the show every fucking week… like i’d not drive over to someone with showtime’s house just to see it… because christ, it’s just fucking television… i unlike some people who i will not mention do not live my life by it, it’s not my bible for existence… …but as i was saying… the ending really has drawn me into wanting to see the next episode… i mean, we know the justin isn’t going to die, that would be beyond fucked up… but seriously… yikes….

and, ya know… it sort of annoys me… i do not seem to get the retarded credit that so many websites seem to get… i’m so not in the loop.. in the clique even… …and i’m not sure if i care, but none the less, i’m a bit annoyed…. i guess i’m just too old… which i think is part of the reason i’ve been strongly considered getting rid of this website… which i guess i’m still considering it… …i certainly don’t need some website and a domain to have a journal… hell, i don’t even need it to be online anywhere… i can run fucking greymatter on my own computer, i have perl installed after all… but, argh, i dunno… …these stupid boys… …the ones i talk to say things to me like i know who they’re talking about… it’s like.. listen dude, that guy doesn’t even know i exist.. so why shoudl i give a fuck about him? it pisses me off… i’m sick of the online world… i want fucking reality.. but i apparently am not allowed to have it…. …and another thing… …people have domains for a SINGLE FUCKING PAGE… wtf is up with that? …and those people get so many accolades for having NOTHING…. …i just don’t understand it…. …and this guy from indiana, maurice, whenever i see his name i have the sudden urge to bash in his skull… it’s unexplainable… i can’t stand that mutherfucker at ALL…. people, he’s fucking pathetic…. more so than i ever could be, and he’s completely without skillz.

so… i’m chatting this morning online and my building’s power goes out… how delightful. so i am writing this now on my palm after my main battery backup died..-and of course i kept chattong hoping the power would come back before my backup battery died; no such luck! SO, at 530am i am not asleep, though this would be perfect timing, lol. i remember back in hagerstown when our cable was shutoff i had to watch movies every night to be able to get to sleep, which i guess was pretty sad. i know i did that sometimes when i was in pittsburgh; though not nearly as often. i guess i had my caliboy to talk to back then though. a lot of nights in the months prior to him moving out here he and i would end up being on the phone with each other often as i/we wou;d drift to sleep. i rather miss that time.