indiboi.com

yes, bored again… I’ve finished a lot of my coding work on gm… time to get a perl book I think. And to try to figure out a bunch of other stuff as well. I want to get a definite boundary though, I don’t want to do a lot of work and get zero credit for it, simply because it was someone else’s program in the beginning… I dunno… people tend to miss the fact of my involvment in so many aspects… so… I dunno. It’s still important to me though, so it doesn’t much matter… though I’d like to see some sort of visible recognition, the kind that makes it clear who’s responsible for versions forthcoming.

Today it was dastardly cold, as opposed to yesterday which was blisteringly hot… so… combining the two has resulted in a pretty severe headache, sinuses and all… yuck yuck… so I basically napped a lot of the day just to deal with it. I’m absolutely no good to anyone when my head hurts. Of course I should probably go ahead and update this installation of gm again, lol.

you know, I say I won’t develop or otherwise work on greymatter anymore… but you know what I’ve been doing the last 24 hours? Working on greymatter! GUH, I can’t stop… It’s half “can I do this, make this work” and half “I want this function, damnit!” lol…

anyway… I’m pretty impressed with myself, I’ve added or changed a lot of things that have sort of been bothering me. A lot of stuff has been “me only” sort of changes, but I’ve been trying to rework those into userconfig options, so that they can actually be changed… ;)

I don’t know, I still need to think about a lot of stuff… and… see how the basic mindset of everyone else is… I guess.

and… I really love davey… I think he knows how to deal with me so well… could be just completely a fluke… but when I’m pissed off, it’s never a good idea to try to calm me down… it’s sort of a “i’ll bite you if you get near me” sort of thing…

so… I think I’m going to not dismantle everything… but I’m getting my ass out of the forums… I think 90% of what frustrates me is what happens there; but I’m a capable perl h4×0r… and well… I should do that; it’s for the good of all.

uhmm… okay… very interesting… and fucked up… my website is being described as someone else’s on google and yahoo (cause they use google ya know) and my page rank has sky-rocketed…. like for some reason, when google was caching and well, googling, my domain was being used instead… very very bizzare. It also seems that all other websites that I’m involved with have had a massive increase in page rank recently… I’m #1 in the google directory under M for meridian… (in the category)… …it’s just weird… I feel a bit more notoriety than I want almost… search for my name and you get tons and tons of stuff on me nowadays…

Another topic under wtf happened…

I’m leaving greymatter’s development team, but hell, I have 1.22dev and everybody else has 1.21c, so whatever, I coded 1.22, with the exception of xhtml stuff and collaborated on the xml-rpc ping stuff…. …I’ve just had my fill of bullshit… and now i’m being told that I can’t express my opinions… and that I should ‘take a break’ but not permanently… well… If anyone is to kill a project that I started (that is, greylogs.com) it will be me. At this point practically every person has pissed me off… I’ve had it with them, and particularly whiney apathetic losers who haven’t a pinhead’s worth of braincells. I’ll probably write more about this later… don’t know… hell… I might just decide to say fuck it entirely…. and shut down artlikepornstars and indiboi. I’ve suspended signup for greylogs.com services, and I’m giving time to allow the greylogs.com content to move elsewhere before I shut it down. After reading some of the private comments regarding this insanity, I was so very close to pulling the plug right then and there… it’s bad enough the user base is unappreciative of what I do, now I feel that I’m also being abused by those I work(ed) with… I truly don’t see the point in bothering.

and even more:

comcast, the massively idiotic cable company that they are… well, they rearranged EVERY channel… tvguide.com and the tvguide channel are not updated to reflect the changes… and they provided zero notice… lovely… i fucking hate them… destroying the internet and destroying television.

ooh so after the change we get a little card… yay… bastards

I dreamnt about adam again lastnight… it was… explicit but unrewarding, imagine that… sums up things well enough… I am sick of having dreams like that, with him in them… I cannot express how much it bothers me in words… I just want them to stop.

due to the overwhelming lack of appreciation for my efforts I am resigning from all GreyMatter related projects.