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Being here is rather surreal at times. I remember all of these stories and hearing about all of these people and before they were just that, words, whereas now it’s more like reality of sorts.

Yesterday was mostly enjoyable, we went to the gorge and to a movie (Bruce Almighty). On the way back from the movie, we were crossing this bridge, sun getting ready to set and this feeling of just complete happiness flooded over me; something that I don’t really remember feeling for a very long time… the kind of happiness that prompts tears in fact.

Every now and then when I’m with him, there’s a moment that feels and seems and perhaps is… complete and perfect.

Even though we’ve known each other for a rather long time, there are still a lot of things we’ve never done together… seems like yesterday was basically one of those days to catch up… do the normal sorts of things that we’d probably have done long ago if it weren’t for the distance between us.

It’s all a little bittersweet though, as always, because tonight will be my last night here and tomorrow, of course, I’ll be leaving to go back home. I really do wish that I could bring him along with me.

I kept thinking, my god, he needs out of here… I knew that ahead of time though, hence me providing the amtrak tickets for him to come out and stay with me for a few weeks… In a way it’s not as bad, but also is worse than I expected.

I have a feeling that I’m not making too much sense. I suppose the most important thing is to indicate that I’m at least content and sometimes happy. I’m still haunted, but even though it doesn’t fit exactly, there’s an important void that we fill for each other.

So it’s all about the love. Looking through old photos, I remembered how I used to feel about him, in contrast to now and… there’s always been love.