indiboi.com

I don’t understand why some people feel the need to just keep twisting the knife once they’re fully aware that it is already firmly embedded into your heart.

I’m a rather pacifistic person in general, so in a way it surprised even me when the phrase ‘I’ll break his legs and if he fucks around with you again, I’ll kill him’ fell out of my mouth the other night. I wouldn’t do it, little things like legality and morality get in the way, but the idea is so tempting if you subtract those obstacles (which cannot be removed).

If geographic placement would be a little different… I might feel enough of a need to rough him up a bit; not particularly in any sort of physical way, because again, I have a huge issue with inflicting pain on someone,even if by all practical measures they fully deserve it.

I’m not also really one to get involved in something without being asked or otherwise asking. I was going to say that I wouldn’t get involved in something that doesn’t directly affect me; however, I think that it does, to an extent. If you hurt someone that I love, you essentially create a de facto state of war.

So I’m left with the unfulfillable desire to break this guy’s legs along with a completely antithetical desire to just hold my friend until he falls asleep. In a sense the latter is also unfulfillable for the time being; I hate feeling powerless, when words become the least powerful solution.