Blur Recognized.

Thursday, 16th October, 2003 :: 15:07 - Sidenotes

I started watching “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” this morning, which is fairly good, and decided that it was a fine time to redesign. Redesign is something I abhore doing, but this came together easily, a benefit of sorts to being minimalist. It seemed logical to salvage a photo that would ordinarily be trashed because of blur, so that’s the deal there; no artificial photoshop-induced motion blur, but the real deal. I also got rid of a ton of the unnecessary shit that was cluttering the pages, go me, yeah. I don’t really want the big list of months either, but it sort of seems necesssary. I’ve not bothered to look at this in anything other than Linux Mozilla yet, but I’m just going to count on browsers rendering valid code properly.

I’ve been remiss in updating lately, but in general things have been sedate. I did make bread again, this time with great success, making sure not to exterminate the yeast. I also started actually cooking dinner again, I guess that’s a good sign. The bad aspect of that is I have learned a lesson regarding choosing an ovenmitt over a potholder. Always go with the ovenmitt when removing pans from the oven, especially when they contain salmon, because the potholder will slip and expose the delicate hand skin to the 450 degree heat of the pan handle. My hand still hurts, it’s the most serious burn I’ve ever had, thankfully, and I sincerely wish to never have another. The blister, now open, is very unsightly and is painful for most obvious reasons.

I sewed a shirt the other day too, but managed to screw up the pattern somehow, so the neck is incredibly wonky as compared to how it should look, it was good practice though. I gave that another go too, this time using stretchy velour fabric in black; it’s faglicious. The second attempt turned out much better, I think I finally have the pattern figured out, even though I still don’t particularly like the way that it goes together, the neckband design introduces a high likelyhood of failure.

Due to this annoyance with the original shirt, I needed more fabric for the second go, so I went out searching. I didn’t find anything in the proper price-range in anything suitable, other than the velour and that was mostly for fun. There’s a whole scale in regards to making something versus buying it, if the fabric/materials would cost more than buying a piece of clothing then it is simply foolish to put the effort into making it, so instead of spending a good deal of money at the fabric store I went to Old Navy. I ended up having a bit of a shopping binge, but everything I purchased was on sale or otherwise deeply discounted, so I did very well. I went shopping again lastnight, bought a pair of Lands End ‘All Weather Mocs’ and another pair of Khakis & a shirt at Gap (sssh!).

I was really starting to wonder about Matthew, especially because we keep repeating circumstances that result broken plans; not in any sort of acceptable way either. It’s really frustrating because I’m rather enamored with him and that’s exceptionally rare. We’ll be in process to organize something and then I’ll not hear from him nor be able to reach him. That state of nothingness tends to last for a rather long period of time, usually a week or two. I know better though, mostly, but it still has a tendency to bring about paranoia. The point of this is to say that I heard from him today, apparently he’d been in the hospital with pneumonia, but he’s doing alright now. The fact he had/has pneumonia isn’t at all funny, but the aspect of me sitting there on the phone when he called wondering what sort of ‘reason’ he’d have for this most recent example of “Matthew Variable Time”… well, he had a good enough reason for me, hah.

Somehow related, I do wish that I could really talk with Cole, to have him actually listen to what I was saying and understand it instead of him getting defensive, jumping ahead, and otherwise drawing conclusions before I’ve been able to express the point. I just don’t see that happening though, he’s grown increasingly rude, hostile, and basically unpleasant. It’s the same general persona that pushed me away in the spring of this year, he just becomes a shell of the person I care about, prompting more worry than I can deal with. I just can’t be surrounded by those with a wanton disrespect for themselves, unfortunately that seems to be the situation precisely, regardless of how much I may love him.

In room related news, even though I’ll have the cashflow to buy the couch, I think I’m going to hold off another month, just to help replenish my savings. I don’t want to repeat the nervousness I had at the beginning of this month, even though things worked out just fine. In a way this is also admitting the futility of that room… I don’t yet have enough justifiable cause to drop more money on the room, maybe once I’m actually going to be spending time with someone else here it’ll seem like a better idea. I can always hook the iBook up to the tv in the living room if I have cause to watch a movie dvd with someone whom I’m not comfortable sitting on my bed with.

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