Insomnia.
I had so much to say earlier, but I couldn’t bring myself to actually write anything more than the subject. I think I’ve given up. While making that little list of the good things and the less than good, well, it’s quite out of balance… It has been that way for quite a while though, but instead of improving, the negativity has a way of growing unchecked.
I’m not quite sure how to describe it really, I suppose I have lost grip on actually caring… and latched onto just accepting things as they are. I still have a tinge of hope, but mostly the stumbling blocks are too great for me to overcome… without throwing ever-increasing energy into the effort; energy I do not have for the length of time necessary. The lack of respect I encounter is utterly depressing.
I’ve been awake since yesterday at seven in the morning… I can’t sleep, but haven’t the energy to do anything that resembles productivity either. There’s too much left unresolved… and under these circumstances it is not my place to be the one to resolve them either.