Of Men and Boys.
What exactly am I doing? I’m not sure I know and I’m not sure I care. …that is, care to know what I’m doing, because most certainly I do care.
I had a choice to make lastnight and this night… Do I try to fix something that can possibly not be fixed, or do I spend time with someone whom seems so much better than all of this?
I chose the latter on both occasions.
I find myself drifting away from caring to fix what I’ll call ‘the carlisle problem’ … Even refering to it as fixing would imply there to be something that can be fixed, which by association would seem to indicate that I’ve done something wrong… something that I feel I need to make up for, but have I, really? I don’t know. Up until the last three days I did think that I somewhere made a mistake, but I’m leaning toward the idea that I’ve done everything that I could… moreso… which in itself could be problematic.
Gears shift.
I spent the evening of the 1st in Harrisburg with Patrick, after meeting him on the 31st, and also this evening, the 2nd, similarly.
I like the direction that 2004 has been heading.