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I left here sometime during the afternoon on Wednesday to pick Jon up for our night out before he left/his birthday celebration with me. I wasn’t really sure how the whole evening would work out, particularly after his ‘I hate gay bars’ speech the night or so before. By the time I’d reached his place I was fairly hungry so we decided to just venture down to Frederick for dinner first.

He seemed to like Hoolihan’s, but the bastards wouldn’t serve him because he still had an ‘under 21 until’ license, even though he was no longer younger than 21, blech. I couldn’t convince him to get anything other than the usual boneless chicken wing things he always eats either, heh… There’s something to be said for consistency, but there is a point you know? I did give him his gifts while we were waiting for dinner, he seemed genuinely pleased with everything… thankfully. He did say that my card, or perhaps the note inside it explaining that I couldn’t decide what to get him and thus I got him everything, was sweet.

We then headed over to Border’s to check out CDs and the requisite reading of the pigeon book, heh, before heading to my house. I decided that the ritual wouldn’t be properly completed without me actually buying him a drink so we stopped at Applebee’s for grateful deads once back in Chambersburg. Somewhere around that time the obsession of his with clams surfaced more strongly, but the closest thing we could come up with happened to be coconut shrimp with pina colada sauce. The drinks and appetizers were quite yummy and that was a nice little break in the evening.

Back at my house we were going to have another drink, I made appletinis, and watch The Princess and the Warrior…. german subtitled. Watching the movie didn’t go exactly well because he wasn’t paying any attention to it, quite similarly to how any attempt at watching a movie with him goes. There was dual purpose, because we were swapping some stuff between my iPod and his iBook, but he logged onto AIM and proceeded to start talking with Eddi. Now, if we’re just hanging out I find that an okay thing to do, because even I do it when I’m at Patrick’s for a while, but it was just so irritating and I found it to be highly inappropriate and disrespectful. The flipside though is that he did want to ‘drag out’ our time together a lot more than I had expected or really planned, which was cool too, bleh… that boy, it’s always the confusion of wanting to kiss him and bash him upside the head at the same time.

I decided since he wanted to make the drive back to his house pass very slowly, basically, that we’d stop at Patrick’s so they could meet and we’d also be able to finally fulfill Jon’s obsessive desire for clams. Jon & I stopped at one of the grocery stores up there (Luke, it was a Giant, btw), but unfortunately they didn’t really have any clams aside from the kind in the can… but we got those anyway. Patrick cooked them, but they were kind of on the gross side overall, heh, so we had frozen pizzas that happened to set the smoke detector off quite a few times.

I’ve kind of gone over Patrick and Jon meeting in my head a few times, and Jon mentioned he was nervous to meet him before we left my house. I surprisingly was fairly calm about it even if Chris referred to the idea as being like throwing two betas into the same bowl. The truth of the matter is that nothing is being hidden because there isn’t anything happening, nor in all reality, will there be… I guess that’s why it was a non-issue to me. It was nice for them to meet though, at least now Patrick has a much better idea of where I’m coming from whenever I speak of Jon.

After having vodka tonics all around I eventually took Jon home around 4AM or so… I had that same sort of sinking feeling whenever we approached his exit on I-83, but in a way it was worse because I knew I’d not be seeing him for a relatively long time. A rather long ‘proper’ hug where I mentioned to him that I wanted him to keep in touch with me while he was in Mexico, and then I left. I’ve not heard from him yet, not even a quick AIM message to let me know that he made it there safely… I knew better than to expect that, but it still bothers me anyway. I guess it’s like slowly realizing that someone isn’t really the person you thought or perhaps even wanted them to be, it’s just so incredibly disappointing.

As I drove up from Loganville, where Jon lives, the sky was starting to lighten, reminding me of my drives up from DC years ago… just like the other morning on the way back from Philly, there’s just something symbolic about that to me, it feels good and also there’s this aspect of melancholy. One very nice aspect of the experience was coming home to Patrick’s… climbing into bed with him there instead of into my own, at home, alone… I very much liked that. Blink… it’s Thursday.